An apparently desperate Cleveland Browns fan has turned to Craigslist to try and find the team a new quarterback.
Among the more poignant requirements? "Please no redheads, people named Brett, or any U. Of Florida alum." That precludes Brandon Weeden, Brett Favre and unemployed NFL quarterback (?) Tim Tebow.
The fan said the compensation is about $125,000 a week. He posted the ad on Monday.
Here's the ad. It truly speaks for itself:
Hello, and thanks for reading. Have you played pro football? College ball? High school? Pee-wee? Have you played Madden before?
Do you sort of, kind of know some of the rules of football? If yes, keep reading. If no...well, also keep reading
We will take ANYONE. This could turn into a regular gig for the right person. The Cleveland Browns, as you may have noticed ,are having problems scoring points on offense consistently. We are deciding that we actually want to win this year and that we have a real shot at it too.
3 wins in 6 games!? We were expecting maybe 1/3 of those wins for the whole year, but SOMEHOW we have a shot still. Here's the thing...our defense is sick nasty, but we've got problems under center...well, one problem. Brandon Weeden.
If you're sick of seeing desperation heaves to the sidelines, countless sacks after superb coverage, and underhanded lightly tossed interceptions in the 4th quarter, then please come apply!
If you can throw a ball, come apply! If you can't, come anyway! We can teach you the basics....throwing the ball to the guy who has the same color shirt as you. Throwing the ball reasonably close to a receiver that's WIDE OPEN, throwing the ball more than 3 yards on 3rd and 16.
Think you got what it takes? Come on down! You're the next contestant on Cleveland Quarterbacks! Please, no redheads, people named Brett, or any U. Of Florida alum.
Fan's Craigslist ad
Anyone interested? I know a lot of you are in training for your respective Thanksgivukkah Turkey Bowls and may want to give this a try.
As another Browns fan said, "Weeden? We Done."