It will be an interesting Wednesday, especially if someone -- or several someones -- grabs the near-record-breaking estimated $550 Mega Millions jackpot Tuesday night. This Mega Millions fever has now overtaken the barrage of promos for the upcoming "Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues" movie.
I am not a Will Ferrell fan in the least but the social media and promotion blitz has certainly been precedent-setting for the sequel to the cringingly obnoxious anchorman Ron Burgundy. So let's tackle Burgundy first.
OK, so it's been a clever way to hype a puerile movie's sequel months and months in advance and I may even go see it at some point. But what I find hilarious is Fox News Channel's Megyn Kelly caused her own Burgundy-style media storm late last week when she opined that both Jesus and Santa Claus were white. She's a real-life TV host who, despite her denials, really put her foot in her mouth.
I saw one Facebook post about Reilly's gaffe that read "What do you expect from someone who cannot spell Megan?"
And you don't have to go far to find other real-life TV anchor/reporter bloopers and gaffes. So enjoy all the classic Burgundy if that's your way to enjoy the holidays. I'm not judging. But sometimes real life is stranger and funnier than fiction.
Now, you might be better served spending the money you would have used to see "Anchorman 2" on Wednesday to buy a few tickets for the Mega Millions. True, your chances of winning are one in 265 million but what the heck? It's Christmas and miracles do happen.
Even if you take the lump sum cash payout of $295, you are still ahead of the game. Heck, with that much money, you could build your own movie theater at home if you wanted to.
I intend to buy a few Mega Millions tickets and, if I win, I will spread the wealth around.
If I win the Mega Millions, I will move to Florida where I can wear my trademark flip flops without fear of frostbite ever.
Then I would pay for a counselor for Bruce Jenner -- the hero of the 1976 Olympics decathalon who was astoundingly gorgeous back then. He seems to have had so much plastic surgery that most people don't even know or remember how gorgeous he was if you've just seen him in that spawn-of-the-devil Kardashian TV junk.
Jenner now wants to shave his Adam's apple because he never liked his trachea. Really? He needs extensive counseling. He's worth about $100 million on his own but having just split from Kris Jenner et al, he's already taken a step in the right direction towards sanity.
(I would also get counseling for Lamar Odom, whose Kardashian clan wife Khloe just filed for divorce. He needs help and staying with that bunch isn't what he needs.)
I would also pay for Chagrin Falls to erect a statue to hometown favorite Tim Conway. Conway turned 80 today and is still going strong. It would make everyone smile to see his statue in Triangle Park.
Actually, my own needs are few. I daily hum a few bars from Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas" and hope that eventually does the trick. After all, Christmas IS a time for miracles and I am certainly due for one.
Follow me on Twitter @KimWendel