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Northeast Ohio couple shares adoption warning after losing out on potential son

Sadly, this isn’t one of those joyous occasions.

She is a cancer survivor who had big dreams of becoming a mom, and decided to adopt when she learned she could not give birth. 

But that dream quickly became a nightmare. And now, instead of showing off baby photos, she is sharing a warning.

Adoptions are happy times and in the case of the Today Show’s Hoda Kotb, sometimes they make national news. Sadly, this isn’t one of those joyous occasions.

RELATED: Hoda Kotb is a new mom, again!

“You know it was just supposed to all work out. You know, but then, obviously it didn’t.”

Meet Trisha Gumto. A three-time cancer survivor who knew she couldn’t have children. 

Last summer, Gumto thought her life had finally fallen into place. Working with an agency, Gumto found a pregnant mother in California who agreed to give up her son, if Gumto agreed to support her and her boyfriend as they went in and out of jail.

“They were homeless. So, we were literally paying for their hotel. Three meals a day. When I met her she had nails done, clothing and we also had to pay the attorney upfront, a retainer of $3,500 and the adoption service provider upfront, a retainer. We spent over $42,000,” Trisha shared.

They had a contract, which included a plan for Gumto and her husband to be there for the C-section. But on the eve of delivery, the Gumtos were uninvited. The news delivered via a social worker.
 
“She called us and said she’s changed her mind. They want to parent,”  recalled Trisha.

“Legally we didn’t have any rights because of the way laws are in California,” said Mike Gumto.

The Gumtos left that night heartbroken. From there it got worse.

“Come to find out they never left the hospital with the baby. The social worker found out about their criminal history and child services came and put the baby in foster care,” said Trisha.
 

 And that is where the baby is believed to be today. Eventually Mike Gumto got a text from the baby’s biological father, with pictures.  One text read, “Sorry for leading you on.”

They also learned the baby had been given a name they picked for him, as he know lives apart from two sets of parents.

A cruel and heartbreaking situation, that attorneys say is all too common.

“There’s no guarantees.”

Mary Catherine Barrett has practiced adoption law in Ohio and California.

She cautions adoptive parents not to be too eager.

“A lot of times, the birth mother is like, ‘Oh no, no, no. I don’t need anything.’ And I tell them, ‘You’re entitled to $3,000.’ It’s okay,” Barrett explained.

“If you’re so desperate, you’re willing to just go forward and ignore the red flags that are sitting right there. And you’ve got something that’s so off the norm, run. Just run. Because you can’t get your money back,” Barrett added.

Sadly, the Gumtos say they are done with the idea of adopting. The cost of finding one son, only to lose him, was simply too much.

Barrett says an adoption should never cost you nearly as much as what the Gumtos paid. That’s a red flag. The average cost is around $18,000. Barrett says it’s also safer to adopt in Ohio, where living expenses are capped, pointing out there’s really no reason to go out of state. With a little time and patience, you can find a child here, where the law actually offers more protections than California.

The Gumtos and Barrett don’t want to discourage anyone from adopting. They just want you to know the risks. 

MORE: 'I wanted to be the dad I never had' | From an abusive childhood to the family of his dreams, this man is changing the foster care system

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