My 10-year-old nephew, Jordan, has autism. His biggest advocate? His mother, Keisha, my dear sister-in-law.
On March 21, 2008, Jordan was born. He came three months early and only weighed one pound and 14 ounces. Jordan spent the first few months fighting for his life in an incubator.
He survived, but was later diagnosed with autism, a developmental disorder impairing the ability to communicate and interact.
“I accepted the diagnosis right away," Keisha says. “I was just so happy to have him. I didn’t care what came with him. Others in the family may not have been ready for the diagnosis right away. We’re all learning together.”
And with that, Keisha began to teach the rest of the family how to help Jordan thrive.
1. Autism does not equate to a lack of intelligence. Children on the spectrum are very smart.
This was a lesson I learned firsthand when I visited Jordan at school. His curriculum at Dodge Intermediate School in Twinsburg is modified to his ability for language arts and math. However, he is integrated with typical students for science and social studies. I was brought to tears watching him excel during a one-on-one lesson with his teacher.
“Working at his ability level he is exceeding greatly,” Jordan’s teacher, Gayle Wall, said.
2. A lot of children with autism want to be included in typical children activities, like birthday parties, sports, play dates, etc.
My brother and Keisha have had multiple birthday parties for Jordan through the years incorporating both children with disabilities and typical children on the guest list. I never knew how much it meant to parents of children labeled “different” to finally have their child invited to participate in activities until I attended one of Jordan’s parties.
Jordan’s parents also signed him up for the Penguin Project in conjunction with St. Joan of Arc Catholic School and the Chagrin Valley Little Theatre. Their productions give children like Jordan a chance to star in a stage play.
“It was very interesting to see his progression,” said Jordan’s dad, Jason Wagner. “At first he was really reluctant to even participate. After a few weeks you couldn't take him away from it.”
3. Sometimes kids with autism take a while to warm up to their environments. Have patience.
“They don’t always jump right into the environment ready to interact,” Keisha said. “Sometimes we need to exercise a lot of patience warming them up."
That patience has paid off for Jordan. He successfully completed his acting stint, playing multiple roles in the production of Annie Jr. This past summer Jordan surprised everyone. He took center stage on the dance floor with his father while more than 100 people circled around the two to watch them dance to George Clinton’s Atomic Dog.
“It was just great to see him come out with no fear," Keisha continued. "It shows that with the proper support, and just a lot of love, different therapies and all types of help from everybody in the family and the community, children with autism can interact and be free to express themselves."
More tidbits Kiesha and other parents of children with autism wanted people to know are:
- If a child with autism has an outburst it doesn’t mean they are a bad child. They process their environments differently. Physical discipline is not usually effective.
- Advice is appreciated, but please be kind in the delivery.
- Autism is a HUGE spectrum so sometimes every child with autism doesn’t "appear to be" autistic at first glance.
- Autistic children (like typical children) often thrive on routine.
- Children with autism want to be loved. We need our kids to have friends that love them unconditionally.
- We need people to make an effort, especially friends and family. Learn about autism, and ask questions.
- Don’t stop the invitations. Going out can be tough but please don’t stop inviting us. It involves quite a bit of planning but our family wants to be involved too.
- We need acceptance. Believe our child has potential.
If you have anything to add to the list please e-mail me at daniellewiggins@wkyc.com. I would love to hear more ways on how we can love these beautiful children and their families as they navigate their way through life with autism.