NORTH RIDGEVILLE, Ohio — This might be the best Facebook post you'll see all week.
On Monday, the North Ridgeville Police Department reported that they received a call about a 'Diamondback Rattlesnake' slithering around the middle of Lorain Road.
Officer John Metzo, who the department says 'has rescued a kangaroo,' 'pulled a raccoon out of a dishwasher,' and 'caught a cow named Moondini that fell out of a truck,' was dispatched to the scene.
To truly get the most from this story, let's turn it over to the North Ridgeville Police Department's Facebook page to tell us the rest of the details:
"We found said rattlesnake on the side of Lorain Rd. but it wasn’t rattling. And it was 27 feet long. And might have been a cobra. In fairness we don’t know snakes.
John gets it off the road with a noose and now he’s mad. The anaconda, not John. I look at John, John looks at me. “Now what?” I ask. We agree that we can’t release a 30 foot black mamba into the neighborhood so we call the Metroparks and they send out a Ranger.
Turns out it’s a 6 foot rat snake. Don’t judge us. It looked bigger when it tried to kill us.
Anyway. All’s well. The Ranger seized the nope rope and took him to the land of nope ropes so he can live out his days, apparently chasing rats.
No snakes were harmed in this incident. We can’t speak for what’s about to happen to the rats."
Bravo. That's a next-level post with plenty of snark. We salute you!