CLEVELAND —  "You Said It" is a reader participation column based on the premise that if you don't laugh about Cleveland sports you'll cry.

And that if you do laugh about Cleveland sports, you might still end up crying. But at least friends and family will like being around you more. 

YOU SAID IT

Bud: So Baker Mayfield shotgunned a beer at an Indians game. Is it true Johnny Football shotgunned his beers during a Browns game? — Michael Sarro.

No way he would've done that in uniform. Or at least not disguised as Billy Manziel.

RELATED: ‘Very impressive.’ Cleveland Browns coach Freddie Kitchens describes Baker Mayfield’s epic beer chug

Bud: The Oakland A’s signed a pitcher who threw 96 in a carnival pitch speed booth. Will the pitcher be allowed to run up 10 feet to the rubber, as he did in the booth. — O. Bill Stone

Yes, but by MLB rule he cannot declare the stuffed bear he won a “comfort animal” and bring it to the mound if he ever faces Mike Trout.

Hey Bud: Who has the best porn stache? Tom Selleck, Baker Mayfield or, back in the day, Bud Shaw? — Nate Johnson, Brunswick.

By best I assume you mean worst. So I'd have to say me.

Bud: Does Yasiel Puig prefer to be called Yasiel or Albert? — Jim Corrigan, Fairview Park.

If you don’t mind, I’ll let you find out.

Bud: What are some signs fall is here? — O. Bill Stone.

In the absence of the Spring rituals like the buzzards returning to Hinckley or the swallows to San Juan Capistrano, in Autumn we must settle for Colt McCoy returning as a NFL quarterback.

Bud: Freddie Kitchens claimed he didn’t want to say anything negative about former offensive line coach Bob Wylie after Wylie’s comments. Yet he ripped Wylie pretty good. Good thing Freddie was holding back — Steve. 

Yes. Remind me to never ask Freddie why he thinks YSI has been overlooked by the Pulitzer committee.

Bud: JR Smith was the hit of the Cavs parade. Based on what we’ve seen of Baker Mayfield so far, do you think he can out do JR if the Browns ever win it all? — Alex.

Depends on whether you think streaking is a trump card or just public indecency.

Bud: Every week I hope and pray that you will use my submission. Are my goals too high or too low? — EastSide Eddie.

Unlike with Baker Mayfield, You Said It winners clear a very low bar.