CLEVELAND —  "You Said It" is a reader participation column based on the premise that if you don't laugh about Cleveland sports you'll cry.

And that if you do laugh about Cleveland sports, you might still end up crying. But at least friends and family will like being around you more. 

YOU SAID IT

Bud: With the acquisition of Yasiel Puig, was that a World Series ticket that just got punched, or just a Pirates player? — Tim, C-Town.

I’m not saying the Indians are wary of Puig’s volatility, but the deal wasn’t finalized until workers put the clubhouse thermostat and post-game buffet behind plexiglass.

Bud: Terry Francona said he was concerned about the impact Trevor Bauer’s meltdown in Kansas City might have on the team. Bauer apologized, right? So why would that incident linger? — Kevin.

You can’t have everyone in a clubhouse flinching every time a guy waves.

Bud: I have been subpoenaed to testify regarding the accuracy of my YSI submissions. Should I accept? — Jim Walsh, Olmsted Falls.

Yes. But avoid any and all questions about the quality of your YSI submissions while under oath.

Bud: If you were sitting in a dunk tank wouldn’t you want Greg Joseph targeting you? — Jim R.

Depends. Is Austin Seibert available?

Hey Bud: During your pitching days at Indiana University of Pennsylvania, did you ever long toss one over the centerfield fence when removed from a game? — Skip Graeff, Tucson, Az.

Based on how quickly I was cut I think you mean "pitching day."

Bud: I sincerely hope you never have to work for a guy who gives you an unlimited budget and tons of assets and then has the audacity to ask you to do your job well. I wouldn’t want to put you through all that misery. — Vince G., Cincinnati.

I assume you are referring to David Griffin's SI interview. Because tons of assets in the newspaper business just meant the paper clips came in small, medium and large.  

Bud: I can see it in the future. Local papers have a three-column sports headline; “Browns have a good workout." Over to the side, “Indians pitcher throws a perfect game.” — Dave in Mentor.

Over the last 20 years one of those would’ve qualified as a man-bites-dog headline. The other only required 27 consecutive outs.

Bud: Will ‘closed captioning’ eventually be offered at Freddie Kitchens’ press conferences? — Jim Corrigan, Fairview Park.

You Said It winners, as usual, get nothing.