CLEVELAND — "You Said It" is a reader participation column based on the premise that if you don't laugh about Cleveland sports you'll cry.
And that if you do laugh about Cleveland sports, you might still end up crying. But at least friends and family will like being around you more.
YOU SAID IT
Bud: Despite the Browns 1-18-1 record in season openers since 1999, I get the impression fans are split. Some believe the Titans will refuse to come out after halftime while others think they’ll last until the end of the third quarter before surrendering. Am I right? — Tim, C-Town.
You’re not allowing for those Browns fans who believe the only thing stopping Tennessee from quitting during the coin toss is if Baker Mayfield is still trapped under the American flag.
Bud: The fourth preseason game involving no starters, a game between two of the only NFL teams never to play in a Super Bowl. Shouldn’t fans in attendance get a barge too? — Jim Corrigan, Fairview Park.
If “barge” is slang for either refund or psychological evaluation, by all means.
Bud: What was your cool nickname during Writers Weekend back at the PD? — Scott P.
For some reason they called me Tipo.
Bud: Trump just referred to himself as “The Chosen One.” If I’m not mistaken wasn't that LeBron? Does Trump owe LeBron an apology? — Jay Shulman.
LeBron would no doubt choose to decide trademark in this case with a tattoo-off since he’s worn the name on his back for almost 20 years. But on second thought, maybe we just let one of them keep his shirt on and take his word for it.
Bud: I see that Jimmy Hanlin hosted a golf outing with former Tribesman, Albert Belle. I'd like to see the next one feature Omar Vizquel and Jose Mesa. — Vince G, Cincinnati.
Programming note: If John Rocker and Bob Wickman are the caddies, make extra popcorn.
Bud: Is OBJ like your very finest China, which is only used on the rarest of occasions? — O. Bill Stone.
Don’t be passive-aggressive. If you have a problem with the plan to play him only in the opener and in the Super Bowl, just come out and say it.
Bud: You think maybe Andrew Luck is following in your footsteps? Retiring from one team just to sign on with another team with less fans? Like Cincinnati? — EastSide Eddie.
I’d understand your comparison better if I saw any real difference between You Said It having 10 fans or nine.
Bud: Everything is looking SUNNY for SEIBERT. — Pat.
I see what you did there. And I think I speak for everyone old enough to remember Sonny Siebert -- and also those too young -- when I say please don't do it again.
Hey Bud: When Aaron Rodgers and his “stache” is at the line of scrimmage is he gonna go all Peyton Manning and scream “Omaha“ ... or is he going to start off with singing “Y.M.C.A.” — Devin, Concord.
It takes a village to raise a You Said It “winner.”