CLEVELAND — "You Said It" is a reader participation column based on the premise that if you don't laugh about Cleveland sports you'll cry.
And that if you do laugh about Cleveland sports, you might still end up crying. But at least friends and family will like being around you more.
YOU SAID IT
Bud: Is this the most Browns excitement at wide receiver since Andre Rison? — Jim Corrigan, Fairview Park.
Yes. With a few differences. For instance, while Odell Beckham proposed marriage to the sideline kicking net in New York, Rison was a little more self-centered. He proposed it to the bathroom mirror on a daily basis.
Bud: Is legal tampering or accordion music the better oxymoron? — Jim, Mentor on the Lake.
Both are good, though tied for second behind humorous You Said It columns.
Bud: Please help me understand some of the more obscure NBA rules. I now know that it’s three games for choking an opponent and attempting to ram his head into the stanchion. However, is the one game for failure to avoid being choked or for being choked? — Vince G., Cincinnati.
It’s apparently for throwing a punch while being choked. The proper response there, according to NBA rules, would have been for Marquese Chriss to say, “Thank you sir, may I have another.”
Bud: You were called an old get-off-my-lawn guy for having fun with your former colleague Doug Lesmerises prediction (pre-Beckham trade) that the Browns would go 12-4. Do you enjoy raining on parades? -- Kevin.
No. Doug and I are friends. I know how he thinks. When I see the Browns-in-the-Super-Bowl direction of his Tweets I immediately suspect he's building a case to commission a statue of Sashi Brown for making it all possible.
Whoa, you're on a roll. While I have you, what do you think my chances are of losing weight? Asking for my wife.
Bud: I remember when players being traded here said, "Oh great. I'm going to the Browns,” and it was sarcastic. Now they are excited to join the Browns. How long have I been asleep? — Eddie Vidmar.
If it makes you feel any better, no longer than George Kokinis during work hours.
Sisyphus was sentenced to push that boulder for eternity, which we now recognize as a shorter time period than two-and-a-half years of Hue Jackson.
Bud: There’s an old leaked video that angered the Giants a while back. It appears to shows Odell Beckham in bed talking to a woman. There's a pepperoni pizza and what appears to be suspicious substances lying around. Do you think that gave John Dorsey pause? Seeing Odell mistreating his body with pizza I mean? — Tim, C-Town.
You Said It “winners” should be thankful this column doesn’t require random testing.