CLEVELAND — The Cleveland Browns season is mercifully over which means we remaining fans all get to take a well-deserved break from questioning both our morality and sanity for continuing to support such a consistently shambolic and loathsome organization. Which is nice!
Even better we now get to devote our full attention to a team that is not only much easier to root for, but is also quite good at the sport that they play, which is a real perk from this fan’s perspective.
So in case you want to hop on this Cleveland Cavaliers party bandwagon right now, here’s a quick primer to bring you up to date.
The Cavs are currently exceeding expectations, sitting at 5th place in the East, and they’re a blast to watch.
Now, some people might be reluctant to buy into this team based on last year’s experience when the Cavs played great all season only to lose steam at the end due largely to injury and fatigue.
And of course, there’s no way that I can promise you that that won’t happen again this year, but…you know what…no. I’m gonna put it all on the line here. I DO promise you that this team will make the playoffs. There I said it. And not just that annoying, “play-in” game, not fake playoffs. Real playoffs. I guarantee they’re gonna make it. That’s how much faith I have in the team. Here are just a few reasons why:
REASONS THE CAVS WILL MAKE THE PLAYOFFS
REASON 1: DONOVAN MITCHELL
We gave up a ton to secure him and I’ll admit I was nervous but he’s been everything we could have hoped for and more. He’s averaging close to 30 points a game, and he not only CAN carry this team on his back when necessary he WANTS to do it. The man enjoys pressure and is a legit superstar.
His transcendent 71 point game against the Chicago Bulls last month shattered the Cavs all time single game scoring record, but more importantly, they came back and won the game. He’s the real deal.
REASON 2: OUR DEFENSE
High scoring exploits are fun but Defense is what defines this team. They’re currently ranked second in the league in points allowed per game and defensive rebounds, largely due to the unwavering presence of my two beloved tall, powerful nerds.
REASON 3: NERDS!
I don’t mean this in a derogatory sense because we are so blessed that our front court is made of nerds. This whole team is comprised of a bunch of really good-natured guys who are super easy to root for and fortunately they seem far more interested in watching Anime cartoons and playing Legend of Zelda then in bottle service at Barley House and courting the Kardashians. We’re truly blessed.
REASON 4: “CAVALANCHE”
The term Cavalanche refers to a gleeful and bountiful Cavs scoring spree. And one simply can’t ignore that the recent introduction of the word to the Cavs fan lexicon coincided directly with the team’s resurgence. Could be a coincidence but it’s definitely not. That word rules.
REASON 5: ANDY’S BACK
If you stopped following the Cavs because you miss lovable, fan favorite, Brazil Nut Anderson Varajao, The Cavs just rehired him as an ambassador! I guess sort of like a third mascot to go with Moondog and Sir CC.
Also, we signed Robin Lopez who is sort of a ragged, Kirkland Brand version of Varajao who looks like Andy if you squint. This team really has it all.
REASON 6: CHEMISTRY
One valuable lesson we can take from the Browns this year is that while having a lot of talent on your team is important, it doesn’t really matter if everyone’s not on the same page and they don’t play well together.
But that’s not a problem with this team. Despite really not having played together for very long they quickly developed great chemistry. They complement each other’s talents and compensate for each other’s weaknesses. They play unselfishly and they are clearly genuinely enjoying themselves. Coach J.B. Bickerstaff no doubt deserves his share or credit for that and it’s been a huge factor in their success thus far.
It’s for all those reason and more that I am GUARANTEEING this team is going to the playoff this year, despite the fact that I am optimistic about very little in life. So get on board now, folks and start supporting this team. If I’m right, you get to watch postseason ball, if I’m wrong, you can all publicly ridicule until your voices become hoarse! It’s a win win.
Let's go Cavs. #LETEMKNOW