CLEVELAND — By now, you've seen the video that rocked Browns Fan Nation.
Yesterday on social media the team announced that, "A new era of Browns football returns." Which, OK, doesn't technically make sense right out of the gate, because if it's a new era, how are we going back to it? That's like announcing the sequel to an unreleased movie.
But let's not get lost in the weeds.
The post included a slickly produced hype video with a hardcore music track that makes it sound like The Undertaker is about to enter the ring at Summer Slam, all building up to the big reveal: The Browns'… face masks will be white this season.... again.....
Some might consider this level of hype a skosh "extra" considering the relative banality of the announcement, but for many Browns fans, this was a true revelation, and they responded with a lot of positivity.
There's a large contingent of fans that has always been keenly invested in every change to the team's aesthetic, no matter how minor, and I don't begrudge them that. But my personal response upon hearing this news was, "Wait, what color were the face masks last year?"
Brown, it turns out. They were brown. They were white for a long time, then they switched to grey for a while, then brown for a few years, and now they're back to white. What a roller coaster ride, am I right, folks?
Now, I long ago stopped judging people for what they personally get excited about, as long as nobody’s getting hurt. For example, there's an infamous hip hop duo out of Detroit called the Insane Clown Posse that's been producing what is, in my opinion, some of the most remarkably unlistenable music ever recorded for over 35 years now. And yet, they have an enormous fan base who refer to themselves as "Juggalos," and these folks seem to have a blast at the concerts where they traditionally spray each other with Faygo soda. Because I guess that's part of it.
I previously brought up this point when discussing Art Modell's Hall of Fame candidacy. Hear it for yourselves:
Now, to me, that sounds truly awful. But it doesn't confuse me, because I just accept that it's something that's "not my thing."
That's what makes the fan fervor over the white face masks more difficult for me to process, because the Browns are "my thing." They always have been, so whenever something like this happens that seems to get everybody excited except me, I feel kind of left out of the party.
Why can't I care when they make the face masks whiter, or the helmets "oranger"? Why can't I get mad for some reason when they choose to wear the brown pants, which are apparently the bad ones? Am I broken? Am I not a real fan?
I do get excited for my team at what I consider to be the appropriate times. For example, I certainly remember Sept. 20, 2018. The Browns were down 14 to the Jets at home when rookie QB Baker Mayfield entered the game to replace Tyrod Taylor (or "Tah-rod," if you're nasty). Baker orchestrated a 21-17 comeback win, and I thought the stadium was going to explode.
Though I can recall the feeling of that moment vividly, for the life of me, I couldn't tell you what color our face masks were that day, and they could have all been wearing cutoff jean shorts, for all I care.
But Browns Nation, you are not a monolith. We contain multitudes. There's plenty of room in this club for the people who have strong opinions on the Color Rush uniforms (whatever those are) and those of us who couldn't possibly care less.
And no matter which brand of fan you are, stories like this are stark reminders that the NFL draft can can't possibly arrive soon enough, because we are clearly in desperate need for football news.